When In Rome
by I Am Raskolnikov
Summary: As the final assault on Subspace drew closer, Link and Pit knew that they could lose each other. Alone in their room aboard the Halberd, they knew the time had come. WARNING: DELICIOUS LEMON, LINKXPIT, rate and review please.


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there is some delicious, delicious lemon zest here, for the fans - I don't care for this sort of thing, but I made this because I love you. I hope you enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Smash Bros.

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><p>Link never realized how much he liked Pit. And as they were headed for the dark abyss, in the confines of the Halberd, he knew that now was the time. They shared a room, and they had grown close - closer than anyone aboard could imagine. Pit sat on the lower bunk, legs crossed, looking out the window. Seemingly millions of stars gleamed in the azure sky. At 7:45, he noticed Link walk into the room.<p>

"Link."

"Pit, look, say no more. I can't bear hiding it. I think I've developed feelings for you."

Pit stared for the longest time. Then, standing up, he immediately wrapped his arms around his friend's neck, pulling him closer, and closer, drawing him into a kiss. They didn't hesitate to explore each other's mouths - Pit, the younger and more sensitive of the two, clearly knew what he was doing, pinning the older boy against the wall. Link, in turn, reached up Pit's shirt, eliciting from his victim a gentle groan. It drove Link wild, and he demanded more.

It was almost like magic. Knowing that they might never see each other again if one of them were killed during the raid, it was a mutual decision to consummate the relationship. The blinds were drawn, the door closed- locked, or so they were led to believe; a complex locking mechanism that neither had truly mastered controlled the entrance and shut out prying eyes. When the silver portal was shut, however, and a click was heard, playtime began.

When they were sure the stage was set, they undressed, and Link took charge, squatting over Pit. It was at that moment, when their act of coitus was about to begin, when Link felt a feeling of warmth in his gut. Clutching his chiseled abdomen, he fell on top of the boy below, snaking his arms around the younger's waist. One hand entangled itself in Pit's copper-colored hair, and the other gripped the point between his wings. Trapped underneath Link and pinned to the bed, the boy squirmed and moaned, wrapping his own arms around Link's neck. The Hylian couldn't take it anymore. He had no choice but to scream - liquid bronze began to pour out of his anus, dripping all over the bed, their clothes, and the floor; however, the bulk of the load fell onto Pit's muscled chest. He proceeded to moan sensually, loving every minute of it, smearing the crap all over his face and genitalia. Link bent down the lick the feces off of him, starting with the face. Proceeding to travel down the neck, he made his way to the chest before his gag reflex kicked in. Vomit spewed like a fountain on both of them, dripping to the floor.

Pit, not one to be outdone, raised his legs in the air, and fresh feces spurted skyward, falling on his lover. Then, crawling out of bed and into the puddle of diarrhea and vomit seeping into the red carpet, he reached for the waste bin, and smeared garbage all over the bed. Rotten apple cores, spoiled milk, rancid fish and potato peels covered the 10' by 15' room. Reaching for a cup of tea, Pit proceeded to defecate into the cup, and nodded at the eager blond, thirsty for Pit's delicious warmth. Link, taking the cue, proceeded to lap up the diarrhea, and Pit, erection throbbing, urinated into the air. The urine formed an elegant arc, before raining on both of them, and they quickly caught it with their mouths. Then, cramming the cup into Link's anus, Pit got on his knees and initiated oral sex. This went on for a while, and when Link was on the verge of climax, Pit started to vomit. The cup flew out of Link's anus and shattered against the wall. Coated in a film of vomit, waste, and feces, Link took Pit's hand and led him in an act of mutual masturbation, using the unholy concoction of diarrhea, urine, and vomit as lubrication, before falling on the bed. It wasn't enough - they wanted more, and they were both eager to tease. At that moment, Pit immediately cried out, "FUCK ME!"

Link obliged, pinning him to the stained sheets. First proceeding to clean Pit's anus with his tongue, he began to stimulate the boy's prostate with it, tasting his plaything with delight aglow in his eyes. Then, pulling him up, he proceeded to thrust his hips into him with all his might, rupturing the wall of the sphincter. Blood leaked onto the sheets, but neither of them cared. Going faster and faster, harder and harder, Link and Pit's screams of pleasure began to resonate through the hall. Pit urinated again, into the top bunk. A shower of liquid gold dripped down like rain. This was enough to send his master into climax. Both moaned in ecstasy, and Link, crawling between Pit's legs, started to suck the pearly white substance out of his lover's anus. Then, they proceeded to kiss passionately, blood, feces, urine and semen running down their necks, when all of a sudden...

"Boys, I made cupcakes!"

They heard a knock on the door, and Peach walked in, holding a silver tray of cupcakes with pink frosting. They looked delicious - elegant caramel swirls graced the surface of the frosting, and the rose-colored icing on each dainty little confection looked as smooth as silk. A strawberry crowned each delightful treat. Seeing the two boys locked in embrace, with all manner of foulness covering the room, Peach let the tray fall. Letting out the mother of all screams, she ran for her life, eyes full of tears, slamming the door and sealing it. The sound of her heels echoed throughout the hallway. A commotion formed outside. Cries of shock, horror, disgust, and worry resounded throughout the ship. Link heard his own princess, Zelda among the crowd. "Peach, what's wrong?"

With little regard for the chaos outside, Pit swaggered to the fallen tray, and collected a delicate cupcake from the floor. "You know, Link, you've given me the time of my life today. But now, it's my turn; let me show you what they do when in Rome..." Taking a bite into the cupcake, the little angel proceeded to stimulate his gag reflex.


End file.
